Twenty-Five (Unabridged‪)‬

The plan is simple: Get accepted into a PhD program. Though the odds seem impossibly long, an objective analysis of the deliverables yields promise. An essay, a standardized test, a handful of convincing recommendations? Certainly these are items that can be willed into existence. But let us not be fooled. We are embarking on a full year of unwavering focus and studious virtue. There can be no distractions, no digressions, no sudden feats of fleeting whimsy. Nights will not be spent gallivanting around bars or clubs or other houses of ill repute. Drugs and alcohol are to be kept to an absolute minimum. And above all else, a priority of the highest urgency, there can be absolutely, positively......no touching.