History of a Suicide
My Sister's Unfinished Life
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3.7 • 55 Ratings
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- $13.99
Publisher Description
In this New York Times bestseller, Jill Bialosky, poet and author, undergoes “a profound and lyrical investigation” (New York magazine) as she attempts to understand the events and emotional state that led her sister to commit suicide and the impact of her death on family and loved ones.
On April 15, 1990, Kim, Jill Bialosky’s younger sister, arrived home from a bar after a fight with her boyfriend. She took her mother’s keys, went into the closed garage, and turned on the ignition. Her body was discovered the next morning by a neighborhood boy.
For decades, Bialosky has grappled with the guilt, questions, and devastation that was unloosed by Kim’s suicide. Now, in this remarkable memoir, she attempts to reconstruct the complex inner life of her sister and in doing so, unlocks the nature of suicide itself and how we are each deeply affected by it.
In the course of trying to understand what drove her sister that night, Bialosky examines some of the most fundamental questions of human nature—why some of us more emotionally stable than others, even when raised in the same circumstances; how the unconscious shape our identities; what the difference is between depression and suicidal feelings; and why we sometimes fail to love and protect one another.
Combining Kim’s own personal writings with family history, medical reportage, literary criticism, and research, Bialosky has crafted “an extraordinarily valiant and resonant testimony to the healing powers of truth and empathy” (Booklist).
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
The early death of Bialosky's sister Kim, who took her own life at age 21 in 1990, shocked and changed her family forever. The "sorrow, shame, and incredulity" surrounding her death in Shaker Heights, Ohio, overwhelmed Bialosky, and only in the past few years has the author been able to fathom her sister's inner turmoil at the time of the suicide. Ten years older than Kim and by a different father, Bialosky was at the time newly married, pregnant with her first child, living in New York and embarking on a writing career; Kim, whose father had left their mother when she was three, had dropped out of high school and taken up with a drug dealer boyfriend who at least once beat her up. In the months preceding the suicide, Kim had been attending college courses and working as a waitress, yet she was towed under by crippling feelings of hopelessness compounded by the breakup with the boyfriend. The absence of Kim's father during her upbringing prompted her deep-seated sense of unworthiness, Bialosky concludes, while her mother, suffering lifelong depression and dependent on various drugs, required more care than she could give her daughter. In a beautifully composed, deeply reflective work, Bialosky, an editor at Norton, draws from literary and psychological examples to honor her sister through a thoroughly examined life.
Customer Reviews
History of A Suicide
I enjoyed reading the story, and learning about the author and her family growing up in Cleveland. I enjoyed how she chronicled her sister Kim's story, while intertwining her research with literary references on such a complex topic. It helped me to begin to understand how, why, and what goes on in the mind of a suicidal person.
Courageous and Compelling!
History of a Suicide: my sister’s unfinished life by Jill Bialosky is a compassionate yet discomforting memoir. Bialosky seeks to solve the mystery of her sister’s suicide so that she can move through the endless grief. But there is no solution, other than to consider that Jill’s sister, Kim, found her life unbearable. The result for the reader is a sad but satisfying examination for those who mourn a friend or family member’s self-annihilation. Bialosky says that, “Suicide should never happen to anyone. I want you to know as much as I know. That is the reason I am writing this book.”
Within the family unit, there is death (of Jill’s biological father); depression (Jill and Kim’s mother) and abandonment (by Kim’s biological father). Kim unwittingly recreates this destructive foundation in a relationship with an abusive boyfriend (who killed himself five years after Kim’s suicide). Jill deals with unbearable losses related to having children. This is only a brief summary of a discomforting family history.
The scope of Bialosky’s work on this memoir is extensive. The author even consults with Dr. Edwin Shneidman, who wrote The Suicidal Mind, for a psychological autopsy on Kim. Bialosky also summarizes studies so the readers don’t have to, and there’s information we might not otherwise learn: “...the rate of suicide was twice as high in families of suicide victims as in comparison families.” Throughout the book, Bialosky weaves research with literature, inserting poetry and prose to compliment the narrative. For example, Bialosky uses the metaphorical concepts of Melville’s Moby Dick in the midst of her memoir. The style worked to help her understand the act of suicide, and that is of utmost importance. The variety of writing methods serves to reach a multitude of readers: What does not communicate well with one reader may be the catalyst for insight for another reader.
As the author of a book about suicide in the family, and my own suicide attempts, I found History of a Suicide compelling and courageous. It is a labor of love to dig so deep to try to come to grips with the finality of suicide.
Review completed by Lynn C. Tolson, author of Beyond the Tears: A True Survivor's Story
History of a Suicide
The book brought some answers to the tragic questions to a family who lost a loved one to suicide. Not an Answer, but a confirmation of several recurring reasons that gave a permission to forgive ourselves... Strongly suggest the book as a tool in mourning process!