A Stained Glass Lily

Everyone knows that girls who sleep around don't get the 'happily ever after,' right? Well, try telling that to Lily. She has her own definition of sleeping around. Prostitutes sleep around. April Mallow, the tubby girl in eighth grade who always smelled like mushrooms, definitely slept around. Women named Angie sleep around. Boy, do they ever sleep around. Naive and lonely women, however, do not sleep around. They merely get used and burned and broken. They become grounded--their delicate wings in tatters--and they curse the idiot that sent them spiraling to earth. But they never stop looking to the sky, yearning for that perfect love story (or let's be honest, even a moderately-adequate love story) that will bring the color back to their wings.
Unfortunately, the worst decisions stem from loneliness. Granted, some stem from deep-fryers and trampolines, but for the sake of brevity, let's say the worst stem from loneliness. So let's blame loneliness for the chain of events brought about by Lily's sleeping arou--er, loneliness. Will Lily finally shatter into a million pieces, or will she find that perfect--or moderately-adequate--love story?

Now I should warn you all that it's completely true what they say about cursing; only uneducated, lazy, uncouth pigs resort to using curse words when writing. That is precisely why, of the 56,554 words in this book, probably six thousand are curse words. But fear not! They are simple variations of, at most, eight curse words so there will be nothing too taxing on the mind. I won't go so far as to say you could do your 1040 while reading this, but you could certainly ignore the vacuum cleaner and have a double helping of those chocolate chip cookies, just like I've been doing all year. Awesome! I'm like a mentor or something!

Second warning: NSFW

Third warning: I never know when to shut up.

Word count: 56554 (See?)