Accidental Kindness
A Doctor's Notes on Empathy
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- $13.99
Publisher Description
We will all be patients sooner or later. And when we go to the doctor, when we're hurting, we tend to think in terms of cause and condemnation. We often look for relief not only from physical symptoms but also from our self-blame. We want from our doctors kindness under any of its many names: empathy, caring, compassion, humanity. We look for safety and forgiveness. But we forget that doctors, too, are often in need of forgiveness—from their patients and from themselves. No doctor enters the medical profession expecting to be unkind or to make mistakes, but because of the complexity of our current medical system and because doctors are human, they often find themselves acting much less kindly than they would like to. Drawing on his work as a primary care physician and a behavioral scientist, Michael Stein artfully examines the often conflicting goals of patients and their doctors. In those differences, Stein recognizes that kindness should not be a patient’s forbidden or unrealistic expectation. This book leaves us with new knowledge of and insights into what we might hope for, and what might go wrong, or right, in the most intimate clinical moments.
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
Internist Stein (Broke: Patients Talk About Money with Their Doctor) reflects on why empathy and kindness matter in these frank and probing essays. In "Remains," he recalls his early days in medical school, when his "first patient" was a cadaver: "I expected there to be something, anything, in the room besides the gleaming silver and the gray light and the silence." "Losing Control" is a powerful account of how, frustrated with an HIV patient who kept forgetting to take her medicine, Stein broke a promise with the woman to never mention the diagnosis in front of her daughter, and "Making Impressions" sees Stein become the patient when he seeks a surgeon to address a tumor in his skull. "Full Hearted and Half Empty" is a moving investigation of what's required for doctors to maintain empathy and composure while communicating bad news or executing painful procedures. "Is there a point where we can no longer differentiate ourselves from others, and all our patients' pain is ours?" Stein asks. His incisive articulation of the emotional challenges faced by doctors is rendered in prose that's vivid, candid, and shot through with compassion—it makes for an investigation that's tough to forget. This is a standout.
