Aftermath (Star Wars‪)‬

A quick paced, well though out story. The novel jumps between the intimate plot line of the heroes, the bickering villains, and various interludes that show the state of the Galaxy. The novel provides a satisfying main story line while also establishing interesting hints for the movies to come.

I was not happy when Disney wiped the entire Extended Universe clean with a single stroke, I will admit that. But I've tried to keep an open mind, and give them the opportunity to tell their own stories in the Star Wars universe, unencumbered by the past.

But they start off their reign by killing Clone Wars at its peak, so close to satisfying resolution, and replace it with that kiddie-dribble Rebels, where Stormtroopers exist for comic relief and Imperial officers couldn't be more stereotypical bad guys if they wore Nazi uniforms, monocles, and sported mustaches fit for twirling. Not a good omen.

Then we have this: the book that's supposed to set the stage for the state of the Star Wars universe leading in to Episode VII. They might as well have called it Rebels: The Book, and saved us all some time and money.

In a universe with characters such as Darth Sidious and Lord Tyrannous, it seems impossible to ham things up any further; to make characters that are such flat and two-dimensional pantomimes that it leaves the reader groaning... and yet, they have achieved the impossible here. Every Stormtrooper is incompetent. Every Imperial exists solely to take candy from babies. Every Rebel has a tragic backstory that is more tragic than the last one, and fights incalculable odds to accomplish the smallest of feats. ("The Empire killed my parents, and my wife, and ate my puppy, but by the Force I... WILL... do my laundry!" No, not a direct quote from the book, but it might as well be).

And the protagonists in this? Somehow, even worse. You've got the genius kid who can build anything, but doesn't want to get involved; the genius pilot, who crashes all the time and somehow survives each time; the bounty hunter, because there's always a bounty hunter why god why are there always bounty hunters; wacky and snarky super-deadly assassin droid; and the rogue bad-guy with a good heart. (Actually, that last one is the only half-way interesting character of the bunch, as he's ex-Imperial intelligence). I'm genuinely surprised there's not a Jedi, either in hiding or in training, in the bunch.

The writing and plot progress as well as can be expected with these paper-dolls of characters. The author tries his very best to elicit some life from the story with dramatic deaths at the end of each chapter, only to bring the characters back to life three pages later. It reaches a point halfway through the book where not only do you cease to believe anyone has actually died, but you find yourself hoping the protagonists actually do die.

Plot holes and characters doing inexplicable actions to further the story abound, and ships spontaneously develop escape pods like crazy, and so on... but there's one last thing that grated on me. Full disclosure: I'm a rabid LGBT rights supporter, and have been all my life. I've strongly argued in favor of more gay characters being included in media (especially children's media), to better reflect their contributions in society.

However, I found myself trying to tally up the number of romantic relationships either directly addressed or implied in this book, and I counted five. Out of those five, FOUR of them involved homosexual partners. After the third pair were mentioned, it no longer started to feel inclusive; instead it felt like the author was ineptly trying to be edgy. "Yes, ooh... I put a gay couple in Star Wars! Now I'll do it again, ooh...!" By the end, it is like the movie Clue, only instead of murderers everybody is being revealed as gay.

The only reason I gave this two stars is because I got some undefinable enjoyment out of it, the same way you do laughing at B-movies that are so bad; and because its good to know backstory for Episode VII, so I'm not going in blind. But if this is indicative of where Disney is taking e franchise, well... prequels aren't looking so bad now.

Wow was I wrong. This book was boring with characters I couldn't stand taking place during an event that had no meaning. What a waste of time. The author didn't seem to know what point of view he was telling the story from. Felt like I was reading a kids book. Please go back to the old authors and quit wasting our time with these meaningless characters/story.