"If I can save one woman from these thighs, I will not have lived in vain," #1 New York Times bestselling humorist Jill Conner Browne writes in American Thighs, her handbook and memoir for the Hot and Flashy. Whether young enough to look "hot" or of the age to only feel that way (in flashes with buckets of sweat), every woman has given, or will give, ample thought to preserving her best "assets" (thighs included), so that the dread transition from "cute girl" to "ma'am" won't be quite so unsettling.
Here are stories of growing up and learning about life -- usually the hard way! From disastrous haircuts and color jobs to fashion or verbal faux pas committed, from the kiss wished for but never gotten to the one that should have been skipped, these are the moments that mark each of our journeys from what we thought back then to what we now know. Since to say that Youth is wasted on the Young has got to be the understatement of all time, it falls upon Browne, as one older and wiser, to take a "Hit and Run" down Memory Lane for the sake of offering "Asset-Preserving Tips," with astonishing disclosures about:
• Why women have risked their lives just to get a little bit blonder
• How the muumuu has been fashionably resurrected as the "patio dress"
• Why it's important to always have a good photo of yourself on hand -- just in case
• How, no matter what skin you're in, to make it last a lifetime
• Why you can never trust anyone over eighty-five
Having previously written books on finding a man, planning a wedding, raising kids and coming through a divorce, Browne's latest offers hilarious tips on enjoying "our inexorable trudge into Geezerdom." Browne is already checking off the days until November 23, 2012, when she turns 60 and can move into a retirement home; at 80, she plans to start smoking again. Looking back at her youthful follies (like slathering on baby oil for all-day tanning sessions), she warns, "Karma is listening and she has ears like a bat." She and her sister have a pact to "Get the Pillow" (smother the other in her sleep) when "the time comes." In Browne's case, that will be "if I start watching reality TV, quoting Dr. Phil, riding roller coasters and seem to have forsaken bacon in favor of anything soy." While exhorting the pleasures of giving in to comfortable sandals and roomy underwear, Browne, in her best book yet, offers laugh-out-loud, slightly off-topic digressions (she passionately defends the term "brick shithouse" and rebukes tummy-control swimsuits).
Kind of disappointed
I have been a huge fan of Jill Connor Browne since I read her first SPQ book. I have always read them nearly in one sitting. I was so looking forward to this book but was disappointed. I have been reading it between other books and it feels like it is taking forever. There are a few redeeming moments but overall I'm not thrilled.