“A darned good read...finished it in one sitting. Charming characters I’d love to visit again.” — Lynsay Sands, New York Times best-selling author of The Argeneau series
"Thought vampires were dead? Well of course they are, but Jim McDoniel proves that don't have to be boring. Or sparkly." — Veronica Belmont and Tom Merritt, Sword & Laser
Jim McDoniel’s debut novel, An Unattractive Vampire, is a darkly comic urban fantasy of ancient horrors in suburban cities. After three centuries trapped underground, thousand-year-old Yulric Bile—also known as the Curséd One, the Devil’s Apprentice, He Who Worships the Slumbering Horrors—awakens only to find that no one believes he is a vampire. Apparently he’s just too ugly—modern vampires, he soon discovers, are pretty, weak, and, most disturbing of all, good. Determined to reestablish his bloodstained reign, Yulric sets out to correct this disgusting turn of events or, at the very least, murder the person responsible. With the help of pert vampire-wannabe Amanda; Simon, the eight-year-old reincarnation of his greatest foe; and a cadre of ancient and ugly horrors, Yulric prepares to battle the glamorous undead. But who will win the right to determine, once and for all, what it truly means to be a vampire?
This witty debut imagines what might happen if the repulsive and monstrous vampires of old were brought into the contemporary milieu of glamorous and heroic vampires, with entertaining results. Centuries-old Yulric Bile wakes after 300 years to find his kind are no longer reviled and hunted, but rather celebrated, notably through the television show The Phantom Vampire Mysteries, created by and starring actual vampires. The show's intensely devoted fan base includes a current occupant of Yulric's home, 22-year-old Amanda Linske, who has been caring for her brother, precocious eight-year-old Simon, since their parents died. The show is one of her few refuges from her difficult life. When an esteemed Phantom Vampire Mysteries producer learns of Yulric's awakening, Amanda, Simon, and Yulric become unlikely allies in a showdown between old and new. It takes several chapters for the connections among the various elements to become clear, but once they do, the pages fly by. Engagingly complex characters and wry humor will keep readers coming back for more.