What in the clam shell does a Mermaid have to do to find true love?
I’m bored. And if I’m being honest, I’m jealous. I want my sister to have her happily ever after. I do. But I want my own adventures and my own true love. For two hundred years I’ve suffered through one immortal asshat after another while stuck on Mystical Isle. And while running a tourist trap for humans might be entertaining, I’m never going to find my true love in this sea of monotony.
Of course, there is a Selkie… the sexiest most idiotic man-seal I’ve ever had the misfortune of swimming across—definitely an asshat. Unfortunately, the dork still invades my dreams on a regular basis.
I finally have a shot at an adventure. I must save our island home. However, the mission is to seek out the very Selkie who stole my heart… the same asshat whose Johnson I’d tried to truncate.
Holy hell and seashells. Only I would agree to a tsunami waiting to happen.
Ask any tuna you happen to see… Who’s the craziest Mermaid? That would be me.
What in Poseidon’s rum soaked arse does a three hundred year old Selkie do when his parents desert him and leave him to fend for himself?
I mean, my Gods, laundry and cooking are dangerous business.
Wait. What would Aquaman do? More specifically—what would Jason Momoa do?
He would save the day and the damsel… I simply needed to find a day and a damsel to save.
Maybe the only thing missing in my life is the beautiful blue haired Mermaid who wants to lop my Johnson off. Wait. No. A Johnson-less Selkie is not something I aspire to.
And to make matters worse, my mother is up my backside for grand-Selkies…
Grand-Selkies mean I have to impregnate someone. Impregnating someone means that I have to find a mate. Finding a mate means I have to get a job and use my gift—whatever that is.
This could be a problem.
Whatever. I’m going for it. Why?
Because that’s what freakin’ Aquaman would do.
Customer ReviewsSee All
As a huge fan of Robyn's stories, I was thrilled to read Ariel's story! If you are a fan of the Little Mermaid, you will throughly enjoy all the subtle nods to that story while laughing hysterically with this twisted story! Ariel and Keith are a perfect match. I highly recommend this series and book.
Overall rating: 5
So what can I say about this book that isn’t glaringly obvious? Not much! It is a total riot! These characters are nothing you can prepare yourself for. I can definitely put a warning label out there....this book will increase your ability to cuss in ways and words you never would have thought up yourself. Snarky lovers everywhere , it is time to one click this book, and then shout it out to your clutch, your gaggle, your kindle, or whatever you call your like minded cluster!