Belizean Pedicure

Belizean Pedicure is politically incorrect, irreverent, funny and dark, featuring a unique and quirky mix of history, politics, technology, a splash of religion and ultimately lightly seasoned with a pinch of the paranormal. A multilayered, stand-alone story, on its surface, it is the humorous first person account of Zeke and his quirky crew of dysfunctional misfits stumbling through life. On a second level, Belizean Pedicure is a cautionary tale of the inherent dangers of our democratic political system. Ultimately, the subtle structural plot encourages the reader to question the nature of our existence and our relationship with our creator.

Obama sheep will not be pleased with the read. The book makes a great educational gift for the holier-than-though progressive in your circle with no understanding of even basic economic concepts. You know the one; the self-righteous jerk that somehow believes donating other people’s money to the less fortunate makes them gallant.

 Since the onset of puberty, Zeke has been haunted with powerful disturbing visions driving him to the brink of insanity. A mysterious vagrant, Hobo, influences Zeke to unleash his manacled demons in order to reconnoiter an unlikely conspiracy that may incite a second US Civil War. Hobo is a small, freakish-looking man, preferring women’s clothing stolen from unattended beach towels. Zeke considers Hobo an insufferable twit yet inexplicably relishes his company.

Ardy is that friend. With an uncanny resemblance to Elmer Fudd, he is a bit creepy (Zeke’s wife argues more than a bit) but lovable. He manages to flounder from one tragically humorous scene to the next, tortured by a jealous, three-legged, one-eyed, mangy dog. Ardy’s bucket list includes carnal knowledge of Zeke’s feral sister and just about any “woman” with a pulse and boobs…vagina preferred, but optional.

During a visit to San Pedro, Belize for his sister’s wedding, Zeke meets a couple of hard partying, little people. Lubricated with copious amounts of alcohol, the pair reveal they are code writers for Sony and are developing a cutting edge, augmented reality based video game. The universe building game, entitled "The Garden of Eve", utilizes inputs from the user’s social networks, mobile apps and favorite websites to influence the outcome. The user of the game is aptly called the Creator. The game’s outcomes are unique to each user, creating an infinite number of parallel universes. Zeke comes to recognize the similarity of the game with his own confusing reality as he realizes his visions are glimpses into parallel universes. This revelation consequently leads Zeke to question the nature of his own creation.