Best Served Cold

Characters. Characters is where this story shines in the grimmest way possible. The politics and world leave more to be desired but small problems in the overarching story.

Best Served Cold is grimdark revenge done with precision, bile, and a vicious sense of humor. Springtime in Styria means war, political rot, and a mercenary legend getting thrown off a mountain because she became inconveniently popular. Monza Murcatto survives betrayal, the murder of her brother, and a fall that should have ended her story immediately. Instead, she makes a list. Seven names. No mercy. From that point on, the book becomes a relentless march through violence, corruption, and consequences that never quite land where you expect them to.

Where this novel really shines is in its characters. Abercrombie assembles one of the most unhinged revenge crews in fantasy, and watching them interact is half the joy. Cosca is a drunken philosopher who fails upward with alarming consistency. Shivers wants to be a better man and is punished for the attempt. Morveer is a master poisoner fueled by ego and perpetual offense. Friendly counts everything to stay sane, Day is a walking HR violation, and Vitari is the lone competent adult, which makes her practically mythical. This is not a found family, it’s a collection of personal disasters pointed in the same direction, and it’s endlessly entertaining.

Abercrombie’s humor cuts hard, landing right in the middle of brutality and moral decay. The prose is sharp, cynical, and often laugh-out-loud funny in ways that feel dangerous to enjoy. The audiobook deserves special praise, as the narrator elevates the sarcasm and timing to another level entirely. Jokes land harder, misery gets funnier, and the tonal whiplash becomes part of the experience. This is grimdark that knows exactly how sharp it’s being and enjoys every inch of the blade.

That said, the book is long. Not boring, but aggressively committed. Best Served Cold is technically a standalone, but it’s also a lifestyle choice. The revenge structure is intentionally repetitive, and while I was never disengaged, there are stretches where the momentum starts to feel procedural. You can sense the rails beneath the story, and at times it feels like the narrative is clocking in for another shift rather than escalating. A tighter edit would not have dulled the impact.

The ending is thematically brutal and deeply uncomfortable. When Monza finally learns that her brother had been cutting secret political deals behind her back, reframing the betrayal that started everything, she doesn’t stop. She doesn’t reconsider. She finishes the job anyway. It’s consistent, devastating, and honest in a way that refuses catharsis. By the end, this story isn’t about justice or even vengeance, it’s about momentum and the cost of going too far to turn back.

Best Served Cold works on its own, but it feels like it’s standing on the bones of a much larger history. Reading it made me want to go backward, to understand the political scars, alliances, and failures that shaped this world before Monza ever picked up her list. Grimdark, funny, brutal, occasionally exhausting, but deeply compelling. A standalone that doesn’t feel small, and that’s its greatest success.

Perfectly told spinoff story in a fascinating world. Sets the standard for all side stories to mainline books.