Bill the Spitter

There's a creep in every family, isn't there? Well, in Merlin Sprague's family, the creep was Bill the Spitter. When Shirley, a divorcee in whom the bloom of youth has withered, decided she needed a man at any cost, she cast her eye on Bill the Spitter.

Follow along as Bill unplugs Shirley's toilet. Read how Bill woos Shirley and how he fills his hankie at the breakfast table! See how Bill letches after Shirley's sweet young daughter and find out what Shirley's ex has to say about it. Follow Bill to the grisly end.

This story, while ribald and bitingly humorous, has the virtue of being true (artistic license notwithstanding).