BILLY CODSWALLOP'S UNEXPECTED ADVENTURE

What do you know? I mean, what do you really know? If you were hurled back in time like a half-eaten kebab tossed by a drunken time god, could you recreate the miraculous technologies we take for granted, armed with nothing but your questionable wits and a head full of half-remembered pub quiz trivia?

Meet Billy Codswallop, a man whose approach to life is about as focused as a myopic moth in a light bulb factory. Thanks to his slovenly attitude and a cavalier disregard for nuclear safety protocols that would make Homer Simpson wince, Billy finds himself unceremoniously catapulted back to 1065 - a year before the Norman invasion and several centuries before the invention of decent toilet paper.

Faced with the prospect of living in a time where the height of culinary sophistication is 'slightly less burnt than usual', Billy is forced to put his procrastination skills on hold and actually use his brain. Watch in bemused wonder as he introduces steam power, fast food, and indoor plumbing to a population more concerned with the next Viking raid than the next technological revolution.

From accidentally inventing the chip butty to revolutionising warfare with poultry-based weaponry, Billy's anachronistic antics turn history on its head, giving the Battle of Hastings a makeover so thorough it would make a time-travelling fashionista weep with joy. And in a twist that would make Nigel Farage choke on his pint, Billy somehow manages to orchestrate Brexit a full 950 years early, leaving continental Europe scratching its collective head and wondering what just happened.

It's a tale of one man's journey from nuclear numbskull to medieval mastermind, proving that with enough dumb luck and a flagrant disregard for the space-time continuum, even the most unlikely hero can change the course of history - or at least make it a lot more entertaining and inexplicably Eurosceptic.

Warning: This book contains scenes of extreme historical inaccuracy, gratuitous use of steam power, a body count of Norman invaders that would make William the Conqueror turn in his yet-to-be-dug grave, and the world's first and most confusing attempt at leaving a political union that doesn't actually exist yet. Reader discretion is advised.