Bite Me

My name is Michael, and I don't have much luck with women. I have tried everything to keep a woman happy. But I am lacking, yeah, I am. So, year after year, I have asked Santa for a special gift, and year after year, Santa never comes through. So, you can imagine how happy I was when a special elf named Rasmussen showed up the day before Christmas Eve.

I am ecstatic.

I am finally getting my 'BIG' wish.

But there is a fly in the ointment, Chrissy Jenkins.

She makes the adage "be careful what you wish for" a nightmarish reality.

Oh, and Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. One more screwed-up Christmas tale to add to the list!