By A Thread

A hundred Graves to see before you die. The famous, the touching, the downright weird.



These are a series of extended epitaphs, short essays and poems. I attempt to join them up, because there are often linkages. We are all joined, under the surface, like a large tendrilous organism.



You may view them on a number of levels. Dive in at the deep end and you will find that they are an attempt to seek answers, to pose questions on mortality, to moralise, to comment and draw contrasts. Kicking your heels in the shallows, you’ll discover some amusing stories, a diversion, a travelogue. I visited 500 churches, graveyards and cemeteries, so you don’t have to. Sit in your armchair. Stay cosy.



When you're dead and buried, make sure that you are buried. When you're cremated, you are as good as saying, "here is one whose name is written on the air". Get a headstone. Follow the example of Evel Knievel and get one made up in advance if you can. Write something interesting upon it. No one needs to hear that you were a good and loving father, brother, grandmother, friend. We all have family who forget about us relatively quickly. Write something interesting, or profound or funny. If it's profound, make sure it's proper profound like, otherwise it will be lost among all the other greetings card verses. If it's funny, make sure it's really funny; a good joke, written in English. Make it unusual and people will visit you long after your people have given up. If you can, lead a remarkable life, or at least try and die in a remarkable fashion. Make sure that you leave instruction for a durable, interesting headstone.



Let me be generous for a moment and give to you the prize find. It’s a simple message and far from original: you may go at any moment, so do not waste any of it. Use it fully and sleep soundly each night on a bed of a useful day well spent. Appreciate the good sandwich. Take in the blossom-est blossom. Because we are all hanging – by a thread.