Cleopatra's Confessions

Humans have a purpose in this world: providing high-quality cat food, both wet and dry, also the Minimum Daily Cat Requirement of petting(not less than two hours),and most important, making available a good Sleep Environment for a cat. This must include comfortable chairs, couches, beds, countertops and a variety of floor surfaces: bare wood, a cool cement area, linoleum, and carpeting. Carpeting is required not only as an Essential Sleep Option, but also for puking on. Never puke on anything not covered by carpeting.

Dogs, on the other hand, serve no useful purpose. All they can do is disturb and disrupt, specifically disturb and disrupt cat sleeping activity. Fortunately, dogs can be trained. It’s a nuisance, but it can be done.

This book contains detailed tips on training your dog, but for starters, know that a couple of quick scratches to your dog’s snout will have a very positive effect.