Just because you’re short, crotchety, seldom bathe, like to drink, and have a beard doesn’t make you a Dwarf. (1)
To see how much you differ from the typical (2) Dwarf, you have but to read Confessions of an Angry Dwarf. If you still think you’re a Dwarf after reading this concise guide to Dwarfdom, then you will not be the only one full of surprise.
Confessions of an Angry Dwarf will correct (3) any (4) misperceptions you may have about the ancient and noble traditions of Dwarfdom.
If you’re a bit more certain about your identity but have ever wanted to explore the inner workings of the Dwarven psyche (5,6), then Confessions of an Angry Dwarf will be your gateway to a world probably better left unvisited.
With enlightening chapters ranging from All that Glimmers Might be Gold, Allies and Whether ta Tolerate ‘Em, When NOT ta Wear Full Plate, Tha Fine Art o’ Belchin’, Grabbin’ tha Dragon by tha Horns, When Yer Beard Catches Fire, On Learnin’ ta Growl, One Good Thumpin’ Deserves Another to On Never Conformin’ ta Expectation, Confessions of an Angry Dwarf delivers a veritable treasure trove of almost useful information on realizing one’s potential as a Dwarf.
If, on the assuredly remote possibility you still maintain some interest in Dwarves, then Confessions of an Angry Dwarf will be your irrefutably refutable guide to Dwarfdom and Dwarven endeavor. (7)
Observations from a talking axe:
1. These qualities will generally draw comparisons to things other than Dwarves.
2. Or atypical in the case of Urdaen “Flamebeard” Doomhammer.
3. More likely further.
4. Or many.
5. Such as it is.
6. Brave soul that you are.
7. Now go grab your axe, don your armor, and start reading!