Conversion Therapy Dropout
A Queer Story of Faith and Belonging
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- Pre-Order
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- Expected May 6, 2026
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- $18.99
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- Pre-Order
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- $18.99
Publisher Description
A gay Christian's behind-the-scenes account of evangelical megachurches and eight years in conversion therapy before finding wholeness and authenticity.
Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez was an invisible architect behind evangelical Christianity's digital empire, crafting messages of belonging for some of the most influential megachurches--Hillsong Church, Elevation Church, Willow Creek--all while secretly questioning his own place within the faith.
In a desperate attempt to "fix" himself, he turned to conversion therapy, spending eight years trying to pray the gay away. And he wasn't alone. More than 700,000 people in the US have undergone some form of conversion therapy. Even though Exodus International, the largest ex-gay organization, closed in 2013, the practice still thrives in many conservative religious communities. After years of this harmful "therapy," Schraeder Rodriguez's sexuality never changed. But his faith did.The more time he spent in evangelical Christianity, the more he witnessed the hypocrisy of institutions that claimed to love everyone while quietly pushing people like him into silence. But Schraeder Rodriguez wouldn't remain silent. Instead, he forged a new path, discovering a vibrant faith beyond the constraints of non-affirming theology and finding a community that embraced his whole self.
Conversion Therapy Dropout is a behind-the-scenes look at megachurch culture, the hidden harm of non-affirming Christian spaces, and the ongoing impact of conversion therapy on gay Christians. This isn't just a coming-out story--it's about what happens after. About rebuilding a life outside the only world you've ever known. And the radical act of stepping into the light after being told your whole life to stay in the shadows. Sometimes, the greatest act of faith isn't holding on--it's letting go.
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
Rodriguez, cofounder of Church Clarity, an organization that helps queer people find gay-affirming congregations, debuts with a moving memoir about his struggles to "keep my faith without losing my soul" as a queer Christian. The author grew up feeling like a perennial misfit in Peoria, Ill., and found a sense of belonging with a Christian youth group as a teen, though his faith began to crack when he saw a youth leader "rejected" by the church after coming out. After high school he followed another group leader to Washington State to help him build a church youth group, but the mentor found gay porn on Rodriguez's laptop, outed him, and framed him as a "dangerous predator." Still committed to the church, Rodriguez signed up for conversion therapy that promised to help him overcome his "sexual brokenness" with a bizarre mix of "disciplined effort, behavior modification, and divine intervention" that involved, among other things, growing a beard and joining a gym. After eight years of conversion therapy, the author found a support group that sought to build "bridges between the church and the LGBTQ+ community." Rodriguez's brutal honesty is affecting, and he powerfully draws out how the evangelical church weaponizes Christian doctrine to "other" gay people and convince believers salvation is conditional on rigid adherence to conservative values. The result is an unflinching account of finding a faith that fits. Correction: An earlier version of this review contained inaccuracies about when the author moved to Washington State and how long he was in conversion therapy.
