Cutting Loose
Why Women Who End Their Marriages Do So Well
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- $14.99
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- $14.99
Publisher Description
For women contemplating divorce or for those who have already divorced, Ashton Applewhite’s insightful book sheds light on what to consider before making the decision to end your marriage, how to protect yourself—both financially and emotionally—and how much your life will change.
One out of every two modern marriages ends in divorce, and 75 percent of those divorces are initiated by wives. Author Ashton Applewhite is one of these women, having sued for divorce after enduring an unfulfilling ten-year marriage. Cutting Loose is an essential resource for women who want to leave their marriage but fear the consequences.
Shattering the media-generated image of the lonely, deprived and financially strapped divorcee, Applewhite provides a much needed reality check. Cutting Loose introduces 50 women, varying in age, race, class and predicament, who have thrived after initiating their own divorces. Their fears of financial, emotional and romantic ruin were never realized; on the contrary, their lives improved immeasurably, and their self-esteem soared.
Cutting Loose also answers the crucial questions: How do you finally decide to make the big break? What is getting divorced really like? What are the shortcomings of the legal process? What about custody and child support? Financial and emotional survival? And how does a woman's self-image change during and after divorce?
"Ending any kind of oppression takes belief in self. Cutting Loose offers moving evidence of how such belief works, whether in a relationship or walking the road alone. Perceptive, realistic, and wise, the book is of enormous practical value to both women and men who aspire to more equal and fulfilling relationships."—Laura Day, author of Practical Intuition
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
Calling an end to a marriage--and, by extension, to any intense domestic relationship--is a frightening prospect. But women who are thinking of "cutting loose," or who have already done so, will take heart from this inspirational and informative study by Applewhite (Thinking Positive: Words of Inspiration for People with AIDS). Most divorced women thrive rather than suffer, according to the author. She reports that 75% of all divorces are in fact instigated by women and points to her own divorce, after 10 years of unhappy marriage, as an example. For her book, Applewhite interviewed dozens of women who had initiated divorces. She reached them through word of mouth, notices in various publications and letters to women's and divorce-related organizations. These women, whose stories Applewhite reconstructs artfully through narrative and first-person accounts, present their thoughts on legal representation, money, children, sex, therapy and new relationships after divorce. Applewhite contends that so many of her subjects are happy with their post-divorce lives, despite the pain of separating, because marriage is an inequitable institution that prompts wives to accommodate their husband's wishes at the expense of their own identity. But she is not anti-marriage, and says that many marriages "please and fulfill their partners." One caveat is the author's source pool: her interviews were largely conducted with middle-class and more affluent women. Certainly for that market, however, the nuggets of practical information about child support, financial protection, custody arrangements, etc. seeded within its lively text could make this book the golden guide that many women in troubled marriages have been searching for.
