“A detailed, eye-opening account of the real sexual underground in America . . . a thorough and serious study.”—Playboy
From Different Loving:
In order to understand unusual sexualities such as dominance and submission, one first has to consider the question ‘What is normal?‘ If the unique function of sex is reproductive—and the only reason men and women should engage in sex is for the purpose of creating a new life—then only heterosexual intercourse is normal. By this standard, many common acts, even contraception, must be considered aberrant. Reproductive relevance was the Victorian standard of normalcy, and even today many of the laws in the United States still abide by that model. But people have always pursued sex for both reproduction and for pleasure and well-being.
We start from the premise that sex for pleasure is a normal human drive and is acceptable when it brings pleasure to both partners. From this perspective, D&S is simply a ‘different‘ kind of loving.
We hope to add to the greater body of knowledge about what people really do behind closed doors with the people they most love and trust. Perhaps Different Loving will help open the door for further research into the mystery, beauty, and complexity of human life and its diverse expressions.
Praise for Different Loving
“The definitive guide to the sexual styles of those who walk on the wild side.”—Kirkus Reviews
“As a window on largely unexplored territory, Different Loving is a breakthrough in the dialogue on human sexuality, and a significant work of popular sociology.”—South Bend Tribune
“A comprehensive primer on loving with leather and romance by riding crop.”—Michael Musto, New York Daily News
Although the authors insist this tome ``is not an apologia for sadomasochism,'' it often reads like one. Rejecting theories that explain S&M in terms of low self-esteem or regressed sexuality, they portray sexual dominants, submissives and fetishists ``as they see themselves: loving and compassionate individuals'' for whom pain is pleasure and physical bondage is psychologically liberating. However, it is hard to reconcile this formula with the interviewees' graphic accounts of whipping, spanking, ``golden showers'' (urination), the use of hot wax and clothespins, depersonalization fantasies (being treated like an animal or a chair) and so forth. The wife-husband Brames (she is a poet, he a novelist) and freelance writer Jacobs also devote sections to genital piercing, scarification (cutting one's body with a knife), tattooing, female wrestling and transvestites and transsexuals who engage in S&M. Author tour.
This is the all time best book on BDSM out there. I have been suggesting it to people to read for 15 years.
Gloria, has a way to show people that different kinds of sexual orientation is normal and not perverted. As long as those involve are consenting adults.
I think that everyone who reads this book will learn from Miss Brames vast experience