The 7 Basic Skills for Turning Conflict into Cooperation.
Have you ever opened your mouth to discipline your child, and your parents' nastiest words tumble out? In an era when most parenting books focus on the child, this book supports parents in dealing more positively with themselves as well as their toddler–to–school–age children, offering specific tools to stop policing and pleading with kids and start being the parents we want to be.
Based on Dr. Bailey's more than 25 years of work with children, this book explains that how we discipline ourselves is ultimately how we discipline our children. Her "Seven Powers for Self–Control" dramatically increase our ability to keep our cool with our children. These correspond to "Seven Basic Discipline Skills" we can use with our children in conflict situations. As children internalise these skills, they naturally learn "Seven Values for Living," which include integrity, respect, compassion, and responsibility.
A developmental psychology specialist and early childhood education expert, Bailey contends that the difficult but rewarding task of guiding children's behavior starts only when parents are able to discipline themselves and become models of self-control. By following the author's "7 Powers for Self-Control" (attention, love, acceptance, perception, intention, free will and unity), the parent will then be equipped to use the "7 Basic Discipline Skills" (including choices, encouragement and consequences). Bailey dismisses the familiar fear-inspired approach to discipline many grew up with (including threats and punishment), claiming that it inevitably leads children to make biologically driven choices and may even effect the brain due to the high levels of stress hormones released. Also rejecting the permissive parenting style now popular that favors "reasoning" (which, according to the author, imbues children with a victim mentality), Bailey instead promotes instilling an awareness of misbehavior through communication. Though some may be put off by the gimmicky overuse of slogans and buzz words, Bailey's underlying message is positive and hopeful, supported with humorous anecdotes and helpful solutions to even chronic discipline problems.