Esperanza and All My Hope

There he goes again, driving with his head down every chance he has. Hes going through something, but every year, nothing ever seems to change. School is going to start again in a couple of days, and he has no new clothes for his boys. The clothes they have are worn out with gravel and sweat entangled within the cloth. Their feet keep growing, but theyll only get laces after the old ones wear out and finally break. We must learn from our mistakes. And know that its okay to make mistakes, but to ignore them is to repeat them, and if we repeat them, this cycle will never end.

There he goes again driving, wondering what type of man would let his children walk into a classroom with that feeling of failure stamped to their future before they cross in the classroom door. Hes counting his money to see if he can at least buy some soap before turning into the grocery store. After counting the change in his hand, his eyes turn red. He wants to cry. He wants to hit something. It needs to come out. It will come out. He hides his face from his sons who are wondering why the car is not moving. Its hard to be a full-grown man and to have that feeling of hopelessness that you cant take care of your own children. In their eyes, theres nothing that you cant do, but you know the difference. Dont see me cry. I cant break down right now.

Why cant I do it? Why cant I make it through the week? Why do I have to beg? But I will beg for my childrens sake. They deserve better. Ill keep looking for that job, start that business my wife and I always want and always talk about, tired of just talking about it though. Ten years together. Two children we have brought into this world. Weve got to stop driving in circles for our children sake. We can do amazing things for our children. And, children, learn from our mistakes. We dont want you to struggle, but if you do struggle, know it will get easier in time and that your family always loves you.

There he goes again driving, thinking which road looks the best. He cant afford to turn down the wrong road. But how does one know which path will lead to prosperity? His children beg him to go while his wife touches his hand reassuring him that wherever they go, they go together. Slowly the brake pedal releases and the car starts to move even as hes not sure which direction to turn the wheel. And there he goes. God bless. Your mother and I know that feeling. Sometimes you just have to push the gas pedal and see where God takes you.