Event Horizon

‘Have a heart that never hardens. A temper that never tires. And a touch that never hurts.’ ~ Charles Dickens


I understand role play. I know the allure of bondage. I know the science behind pain, asphyxia, and the endorphin release. But what if your desire for me to create violence with you is a test? For either of us; hell, for both of us. I honestly have no desire to harm you. None. You are right in that it goes against my nature. But, what if I don’t know myself as well as I think? What if you see something in me you need to bring out? What if you are right? There was no hesitation when I answered you. For you, I would do anything. I want to be the one you use because I know in my heart that whatever this is, isn’t stronger than my love for you. Every crack we open pushes us further into one another’s souls.


I actually think this is a two-fold quest ~ for both of us. You need to face something from the past, you want to confront that anger. You also want to test me. You want to know if I am who you think I am. If I’m not, you’ve been beaten before, better to find out early. You’re used to pain, and you recognize the men capable of inducing it. You need to know I can fulfill that fantasy before you commit the rest of your life.


For me… I don’t think that I’m a man who would voluntarily harm you. I don't believe I could even be pushed into it. I also didn’t believe I could love like this either. I want the test. I want to test my soul. I want to purge any remaining violence once and for all. I haven’t seen it in 40 years, and I’m tired of carrying it. I need it gone from both of us so that there will be no doubt, so that I can love you in peace. So that you can trust. So that I can trust. So that we know who we are.


I want everything you have. Everything. I’ve told you that I’ve never been so driven or have felt the need and desire to do this with anyone else before. I want to take you as deep as I can, feeling your hands on my head, your fingers entwined in my hair. Feeling the slick, smooth feeling of you sliding in and out and then the very scent of your essence... I already know the taste of you. I don’t know how, but I do. I already know that I love the peril and always will, and now, I crave it.