Everybody Fights
So Why Not Get Better at It?
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4.2 • 48 Ratings
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- $14.99
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- $14.99
Publisher Description
A USA Today and Wall Street Journal bestseller!
Learn how to fight better and end your arguments with your partner feeling closer, more loved, and better understood.
We take our cars in for oil changes. We mow our lawns and pull weeds. Why don't we do maintenance on our marriages? This relationship is the most important one we will ever have, so why not get better at it?
For the last several years, Penn and Kim Holderness of The Holderness Family have done the hard maintenance and the research to learn how to fight better. With the help of their marriage coach Dr. Christopher Edmonston, they break down their biggest (and in some cases, funniest) fights. How did a question about chicken wings turn into a bra fight (no, not a bar fight or a bra fight)? How did a roll of toilet paper lead to tears, resentment, and a stint in the guest bedroom?
With their trademark sense of humor and complete vulnerability, Penn and Kim share their 10 most common Fight Fails and how to combat them. Throughout the book, they offer scripts for how to start, continue, and successfully close hard conversations. Couples will emerge equipped to engage and understand, not do battle—and maybe laugh a little more along the way.
In Everybody Fights, couples will learn how to:
Use "magic words" for healthy conflict resolutionAddress unspoken and unrealistic expectationsBanish the three Ds of unhealthy communication—distraction, denial, and delayCarry individual baggage while helping your partner deal with theirs
Penn and Kim want you to know you're not alone. Everybody fights. Marriage is messy. Marriage is work. But marriage is worth it. Fight for it!
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
In this reassuring debut, married couple Kim and Penn Holderness, hosts of The Holderness Family Podcast, share examples from their "fight fails" and strategies for fighting less frequently and having a happier marriage. The Holdernesses emphasize that, while they are not trained to address serious issues like infidelity, addiction, or mental illness, they can offer tools for couples who struggle with feeling misunderstood or lack communication skills, but who are willing to learn. To make arguments less destructive, the authors suggest couples examine both what is communicated and how it is said, and to avoid reverting to passive-aggressive or hyperbolic statements. They also give prompts for identifying and rewriting the "secret contracts" that play a role in most marriages, such as what chores and tasks one does around the house and ideas for setting new routines, as well as the value of gratitude and public displays of appreciation. These engaging tools and conversation-based exercises for couples will provide a great starting point for strengthening communication.
Customer Reviews
Everybody fights
This book is wonderful. It will make you laugh and cry. Kim and Penn are insightful and share easy communication tools that will help in all relationships. Highly recommend.
Very relatable and helpful
This was a great, easy, fun read that was a nice change from the deep-dive personal development books I tend to go for. I love the structure of hearing both sides of their real life (and relatable!) fights and how they reflect and take responsibility for their part. A very practical read and a great resource for anyone who has to interact with others (most humans). Thank you both for showing up and sharing your journey!
Great advice yet fun and light hearted!
Such good, practical, applicable and amusing advice for any married couple! Definitely worth the read! Glad that it comes with a little Christian perspective as well!