Kelly Oxford is . . .
A wunderkind producer of pirated stage productions for six-year-olds
Not the queen of the world
An underage schnitzel-house dishwasher
The kid who stood up to a bully and almost passed out from the resulting adrenaline rush
A born salesman
Capable of willing her eyesight to be 20/20
That girl who peed her pants in the gas station that one time
Totally an expert on strep throat
Incapable of making Leonardo DiCaprio her boyfriend
A certified therapy assistant who heals with Metallica mixtapes
"Not fat enough to be super snuggly." —Bea, age four
Not above using raspberry-studded sh*t to get out of a speeding ticket
"Bitingly funny. But everybody knows that." —Roger Ebert
Sad that David Copperfield doesn't own a falcon
A terrible liar
In these disjointed autobiographical essays, L.A.-based writer, Twitter celebrity, and mom Oxford per-forms a flatfooted exercise in pointlessness. Framed by silly dialog with her three children ("Did you write this book to make dough?" eight-year-old Hen asks), Oxford's erratic chapters relay cherished memories from a not-so-long-ago youth: her early attempts to stage a production of Star Wars at her French Canadian immersion school, a first job washing dishes at the popular Schitzelhaus, pot-smoking teenage shenanigans with her best friend Aimee (such as traveling to Las Vegas to meet the about-to-be-a-big-star Leonardo DiCaprio), finding her future husband while working at a diner, and freaking out after becoming a mother in her early twenties without a "backup" secondary degree. Though pithy moments can be found, these stories often succumb to aimlessness. A trip to Las Vegas to meet magician David Copperfield, who provides a gracious reception after becoming a fan of Ox-ford's on Twitter, and a trip to Disneyland with her family prove feeble fodder for hilarity. The humor is wackily contrived, nearly slapstick, possessing little irony, tension, or subtlety. Instead, exclamation points lead the way like a banal laugh track and scatological references seem like a desperate plot for reaction.
The perfect amount of humor, life stories, and sentimental moments. Such a fun read.
Super funny and unfiltered
There is so much to appreciate in this book. I enjoyed the author's painfully honest and self-deprecating stories, in-sight, and humor throughout. I'd definitely, and already have, recommended this book to friends. Kelly Oxford, I hope you keep writing great stories like these.