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Publisher Description

Kelly Oxford is . . .

A wunderkind producer of pirated stage productions for six-year-olds

Not the queen of the world

An underage schnitzel-house dishwasher

The kid who stood up to a bully and almost passed out from the resulting adrenaline rush

A born salesman

Capable of willing her eyesight to be 20/20

That girl who peed her pants in the gas station that one time

Totally an expert on strep throat

Incapable of making Leonardo DiCaprio her boyfriend

A writer

A certified therapy assistant who heals with Metallica mixtapes

"Not fat enough to be super snuggly." —Bea, age four

Not above using raspberry-studded sh*t to get out of a speeding ticket

"Bitingly funny. But everybody knows that." —Roger Ebert

Sad that David Copperfield doesn't own a falcon

A terrible liar

GENRE
Biographies & Memoirs
RELEASED
2013
April 2
LANGUAGE
EN
English
LENGTH
336
Pages
PUBLISHER
It Books
SELLER
HARPERCOLLINS PUBLISHERS
SIZE
1.3
MB

Customer Reviews

Stasey Elizabeth ,

Awesome!

Very funny.

RSVLGIRL916 ,

Super funny and unfiltered

There is so much to appreciate in this book. I enjoyed the author's painfully honest and self-deprecating stories, in-sight, and humor throughout. I'd definitely, and already have, recommended this book to friends. Kelly Oxford, I hope you keep writing great stories like these.

Lauren Caster ,

Hilariously entertaining honest life stories

Kelly Oxford is witty, sharp, clever, hilarious and HONEST! The stories she shares are all so relatable but told way better. A book everyone should read for a good time.

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