From a renowned sociologist, the wisdom of saying goodbye
Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot is enthralled by exits: long farewells, quick goodbyes, sudden endings, the ordinary and the extraordinary. There's a relationship, she attests, between small goodbyes and our ability "to master and mark the larger farewells."
In Exit, her tenth book, she explores the ways we leave one thing and move on to the next; how we anticipate, define, and reflect on our departures; our epiphanies that something is over and done with.
Lawrence-Lightfoot, a sociologist and a professor at the Harvard Graduate School of Education, has interviewed more than a dozen women and men in states of major change, and she paints their portraits with sympathy and insight: a gay man who finds home and wholeness after coming out; a sixteen-year-old boy forced to leave Iran in the midst of the violent civil war; a Catholic priest who leaves the church he has always been devoted to, he life he has loved, and the work that has been deeply fulfilling; an anthropologist who carefully stages her departure from he "field" after four years of research; and many more.
Too often, Lawrence-Lightfoot believes, we exalt new beginnings at the expense of learning from our goodbyes. Exit finds wisdom and perspective in the possibility of moving on and marks the start of a new conversation, to help us discover how we might make our exits with purpose and dignity.
Following The Third Chapter: Passion, Risk, and Adventure in the 25 Years After 50, Harvard education professor and MacArthur fellow Lawrence-Lightfoot has penned an examination of how people exit careers, countries, and even life. Believing that the small departures we make daily prepare us for the large ones emigration, divorce, death the author argues that each is a drama of ambivalence, decision-making, and epiphany. Lawrence-Lightfoot brilliantly creates intricate narratives of departures accomplished by 10 subjects from, for example, Iran, the closet, bullying at school. Along the way, she only glances at important related topics, such as how immigrants are treated in America or the care of the terminally ill or dying. Her focus remains on exits that, she maintains, "are often ignored or invisible" in a culture that values embarking on new ventures and experiences.