Exploring ourselves

There are many times in life when we have lots of existential questions inside of our minds.
Accepting those thoughts ... and actually embracing them is the path for understanding but also having a normal ... and why not ... also a beautiful life.
I personally try to understand those existential questions from the early age of 4 or 5.
One of the things that i remember from that time was that i was in the kitchen with my mother and she was explaining me that we live in a world with bad people and i should be aware of that.
Maybe if she was telling me that Santa Claus was not real, i would have accepted that much easier.
But i totally disliked what she told me and it was the first time when i disconnected myself from her.
I told to myself ... “This is not true. I will explore the world and i will prove that this is not true. Noooo ... we don’t live in a world with bad people!”.
It was the start of my journey on a philosophical path, that for many, many times looked like a pathless path to me, but also to the ones were looking at me.
As a child i was an introvert, but today ... after socializing so, so much with so many people that i met ... i became an extrovert.
And ... i accept on the stage of my life absolutely any kind of person ... i met.
Even if i don’t like that person ... or i don’t feel comfortable in the presence of that spirit ... i continue my journey of exploring the human beings and i kind of like it.
I try to ... read ... people ... to see each one of them as a book, cause all of them ... have their own stories... and i also try to somehow ... invent .. a guide of surviving in this world.
I felt many times, probably same as you, that my mother’s theory about the world is true ... and i was too idealistic for this Universe ... but i still had the hope that things will always change into better.
I was exploring life ... and while doing this i discovered that even in bad things, i will always find a beautiful side.
So ... there is an ugly and a beautiful side, but depends which one we are seeing ... and the world itself can be defined as ugly or beautiful ... only and only by what we actually understand from what we see.
And ... to learn the art of observing the world ... first we need to explore life ... with all its aspects and then ... meditate and ask ourselves before defining anything if it’s worth losing our time with the ugly elements ... when still life has so, so many beautiful sides.