Doug Lee is undead quite by accident—attacked by a desperate vampire, he finds himself cursed with being fat and fifteen forever. When he has no luck finding some goth chick with a vampire fetish, he resorts to sucking the blood of cows under cover of the night. But it's just not the same.
Then he meets the new Indian exchange student and falls for her—hard. Yeah, he wants to bite her, but he also wants to prove himself to her. But like the laws of life, love, and high school, the laws of vampire existence are complicated—it's not as easy as studying Dracula. Especially when the star of Vampire Hunters is hot on your trail in an attempt to boost ratings. . . .
Searing, hilarious, and always unexpected, Fat Vampire is a satirical tour de force from one of the most original writers of fiction today.
As vampires go, 15-year-old Doug Lee is an abysmal failure. Forever frozen as an overweight teenager, he's stumbling through his unlife. He can't seem to master his powers, can't score a quick nibble off a cute girl, and risks bursting into flames every time he goes to school. Worse, his escapades attract the attention of other vampires, and a sensationalistic cable show dedicated to proving that he exists (before staking him). Things take a turn for the better when he gains a mentor, learns there may be a way to reverse his vampiric nature, and falls for a cute Indian exchange student. But in typical Doug fashion, the more optimistic he gets and the more he embraces his new powers, the more it all stands to fall apart. Filled with a self-aware cleverness, Rex's (The True Meaning of Smekday) deconstruction of the vampire mythos draws some thought-provoking parallels between vampirism and elements of contemporary society, particularly the consumptive power of technology and the Internet. But like its subject matter, it seems to lack heart, and the ambiguous ending may leave readers cold. Ages 14 up.
Customer ReviewsSee All
Starts out rocky - steadies out for the most part and is pretty good for most of the book - then the last two chapters will blow your mind; never have you seen a good story turn to utter crap so fast. Worst ending I've read in a long time.
Sparks like flint hitting stone.
Gums itch, pulling lips at a confused wanting...wanting this story to breach it's acne adolescence into something not quite adult but not too far removed from that - revered and holy - a memory of our budding awareness. An awareness of more than awkward longings, of teenaged lustings. The lustings themselves chart the same confused course that are familiar to every one of us.
Sharp Teeth tethered to metal braces. Striving for that painful ache of becoming. Wanting only to have everyone know that maybe we are all ok; unabashedly that I (that universal yet solitary I) am ok. Doug is ok; we are fine.
Thoroughly enjoyed. Highly recommended.
Suspenseful and shocking!
The ending kinda confused me...but it was PHENOMENAL!!!