Father Or Not

Dishonesty, deceit, betrayal, resentment, and envy all played a part in my self-destructive life.

The path in front of me was littered with unwanted emotions. I fought my inner man constantly

against the truth. The surface of my life seemed normal to the onlooking eye, but the reality of

who I really was and what I'd been taught to be,was anything but normal. It was a rollercoaster

of confusion and false hope planted and harvested by the woman I placed above God Himself,

my mother, She was the driven force of whom I wanted to please.

But, the darkness in her told a different story of who she was. It would be years before the veil

that covered her deceitfulness showed itself. Her promises reeled me in, and her trust blinded

me from the destruction waiting in the distance. I knew nothing, nor was I told anything about

the parents that had been chosen for me. I had but one alternative, to turn to the man in my life,

my father. But little did I know, his role in my life was as devastating as my mother's. He was

the absolute secret, and the reality of who he was would one day test my love for him.