First-Time Mom

PUBLISHERS WEEKLY JAN 1, 2004

Talk show host and prolific author Leman (Making Children Mind without Losing Yours, etc.) dispenses traditional parenting advice to new mothers in this stern but encouraging book. A family psychologist by training, Leman is strongest when dealing with the emotional and psychological aspects of parenting, such as bonding, playtime and discipline. (His philosophy:"I don't believe spanking is appropriate under the age of two, and I think it runs its course by the age of six.") For Leman, the most important thing a mother can do is to"create a place of belonging and an attitude of family togetherness." He emphasizes the importance of sacrifice, of breastfeeding, of maintaining a romantic marriage and of staying home to raise the kids. Some readers may find Leman's opinions quite dated. He assumes, for example, that first-time dads aren't interested in reading parenting books and warns mothers that if they don't take time off work to raise their own children, they and their child may"end up in some counselor's office" confronting the problems of detachment and delinquency. Leman's tone also varies throughout the book. At times, he is almost excessively encouraging ("Good for you. You did it. You're a parent!"). At other moments, he is winningly realistic ("Parenting is about decades, not days"). Occasionally, however, he can be quite patronizing, as when he uses child-talk to explain to his readers that"babies don't need daddies to act like mommies or mommies who try to act like daddies." Fans of Leman's television show, Reality Talks!, will appreciate his practical, fatherly attitude, but those seeking more progressive advice and opinions will be better off looking elsewhere.