The Complete Freaky Finders Series in a Digital Boxed Set. Prepare to Get Your Freak On!
When a trans-dimensional portal opened behind my fridge, I knew the day would suck.
Strange things appeared in my grubby kitchen, then Beelzebub summoned me by setting my arm alight. When a devil comes calling you have no choice but to do his bidding, especially when bound by a tattoo direct from Hell.
A bounty is given, no option to refuse. Mimi's the mark, famed owner of two magical panthers and a right handful. Still, this was my chance at freedom, so what choice did I have?
As always, it wasn't that simple. Other forces were at work, and I'd had a gutsful of being Hell's puppet. I just had to figure out a plan. One that didn't just involve tearing off my sunglasses and incinerating everything in sight with a glance.
Freaky Finders was not off to a good start. No work, no money, no pies for Boris. Chunky fae are no fun to be around when there are no pies.
Then the phone rang. The red one.
We had a job offer, one no-one else would do. But what the hell? Desperate times and all that. Seemed there was a faery golem on the loose, and the Freaks were just the ones to catch him.
So off we went, and many adventures were had. We chased rainbows, we ate fish and chips, and yes, Boris even got some pies. As for the faery golem…
What did I get in the way of a thank you for restoring the balance of the wedgie vibe? I got a smack on the nose by a very handsome angel, that's what. He came with a message direct from the Man Upstairs himself. We had a job, and He wouldn't take no for an answer.
Apparently, it paid oodles of filthy moolah, so who was I to argue? Not that I could.
Fat dead cannibals, giant pervy birds, loads of standing about being bored, we did it all, and even had a little fun along the way.
Things were looking up. I had an awesome new bow and arrow of the magical variety, and even money in my pocket.
Then Aunty had to go and spoil it all by getting shot in the bum by an arrow tipped with Vamp2. Yes, I shot her. No, not on purpose.
After the high wore off, and she shot me back, she dragged us into a mission to eradicate the world of this nasty narcotic.
So, all we had to do was go up against the vampire overlords who controlled production.
What could possibly go wrong?