Getting to Sorry
The Art of Apology at Work and at Home
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5.0 • 1 Rating
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- $14.99
Publisher Description
“A witty, useful guide” (People) to apologies, why they matter, and the healing power of saying you’re sorry, from the dynamic duo behind the acclaimed SorryWatch site.
It’s a truth universally acknowledged that terrible apologies are the worst. We’ve all been on the receiving end, and oh, how they make us seethe. Horrible public apologies—excuse-laden, victim blame-y, weaselly statements—often go viral instantaneously, whether they’re from a celebrity, a politician, or a blogger. We all recognize bad apologies when we hear them. So why is it so hard to apologize well? How can we do better? How could they do better?
Marjorie Ingall and Susan McCarthy show us the way with this fresh book that is “philosophically deep, crisply reported, and funny as heck all the way through” (Clive Thompson, author of Coders). Drawing on a deep well of research in psychology, sociology, law, and medicine, they explain why a good apology is hard to find and why it doesn’t have to be. Alongside their six (and a half)-step formula for apologizing beautifully, Ingall and McCarthy also delve into how to respond to a bad apology; why corporations, celebrities, and governments seldom apologize well; how to teach children to apologize; how gender and race affect both apologies and forgiveness; and most of all, why good apologies are essential, powerful, and restorative.
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
In this helpful guide, Ingall (Mamelah Knows Best) and McCarthy (coauthor, When Elephants Weep), cocreators of the website SorryWatch, use real-life and hypothetical examples to teach readers how to apologize better. Examples of good apologies include John F. Kennedy's statement on the Bay of Pigs invasion in 1961, in which he said his administration intended "to take full responsibility for our errors," and Questlove's apology for culturally insensitive social media posts: "I for one should never allow my cultural bias to take precedence over my ‘examined life.' " Case studies of what not to say include Ellen DeGeneres's memo to employees about the toxic work environment at her talk show, in which she focused on her own feelings and blamed others. (There's also a list of the five worst celebrity apologies, including Mario Batali's response to sexual assault allegations, which ended with a recipe for pizza dough cinnamon rolls.) Ingall and McCarthy incisively discuss how gender, race, and class affect apologies, and weave in lucid explanations of psychological research and business and legal matters. Jokey asides mostly help the advice to go down smoothly, though some readers may find the tonal shifts jarring. Still, this is an accessible and well-informed resource for navigating difficult conversations.
