Give Her Your Dessert

Those of you who clearly have the good taste and obvious superior intelligence
to be reading this might only find it humorous if you have experienced the
following:

A: Childhood
B: A Relationship
C: Children

If none of these apply to you then you might want to pay attention to the
men in black suits and dark sunglasses, standing just behind you, who are
about to take you to Area 51 to be dissected, for you are clearly an alien.
And I'm not talking about our Central American brethren or other humans.
Perhaps it would be best if you do not pay attention to the suited individuals
behind you and just buy the book and leave. Thereby your dissection could
be averted and you could return to your spaceship with all your parts intact.
Think of my book as a visa.
Please let others on your planet know of this informative tome on our species.
I would be happy to consult, for a fee of course.

The rest of you, those who are human, will have fun.