Someone in your past sold you a false story about who you are and what you’re worth. It has been holding you back for too long. Take control of your future.
A staggering one out of three women in America was a victim of sexual abuse at some point in her childhood. No matter how many years it’s been, if that’s your story, those scars are probably still with you. But even if that’s not part of your story, this book is for you. Women today have been groomed for a lot more than just sex.
Using her own story of abuse, family tragedy, and rebellion, Elizabeth Melendez Fisher guides readers toward an understanding that grooming is oftentimes subtle, but it’s always life-altering. In Groomed Fisher incorporates the language and lessons gained over the past decade working with sex trafficking victims and her work in ministry and counseling before that. She draws out five specific ways that women have been groomed, from physical appearance to spirituality to finances, and shows how those manipulative messages have affected the way we see our worth and how they’ve oftentimes stifled and limited us. From there Fisher offers readers a way to overcome their past, starting with the all-important but rarely explored idea of a selah, or a time of rest and reflection, and exploring active ways to forgive and move forward to a new level of freedom.
No one has to be defined by her past. No one has to live for her groomers. It’s time to take a look back at where we came from to escape the messages of our past and take control of our future.
Good, cofounder of the Selah Way Foundation, which combats sex trafficking and sexual abuse, guides readers in how to recognize and overcome potentially abusive behavior in her measured, explicit debut. Grooming is defined here as influence by those one trusts, and, Good writes, can be both positive and negative. But there are five main areas in which society negatively grooms women: appearances (being told to look a certain way), invisibility (being told you don't matter), endurance (being told you must do it all), judgment (being told you are not forgivable), and finance (being told you are only what you have or earn). Listening to these messages can lead to long-term feelings of shame and low self-esteem that shape the rest of one's life, she writes. To explain the trajectory of grooming, Good creates a typical example along with her own story of sexual abuse, as well as the resulting shame and guilt that brought devastating results to her mental and physical health. She offers many questions, and prompts to help women unpack the effects of social pressures. With sharp insight culled from years of counseling experience, Good helps women find ways to confront grooming and take practical steps toward creating a healthier future.