A year and a half ago, Ashley Wilkes Hard received an award from the mayor of New York City for being the NYPD's top homicide detective. Today however, due to an unfortunate psychotic meltdown at a local strip joint, he thinks--his penis talks to him. Resigned to his new station in life as a groundskeeper at the Newport Architectural Preservation Society, things are once again thrown into chaos when Ash reluctantly agrees to assist Bryce Williams, a gorgeous newspaper reporter asking for his help in investigating Newport's most infamous, unsolved jewel robbery.
As the body count starts to rise, Ash must contend with not only a sadistic killer, but a ghostly pirate curse, his over-domineering mother, a vindictive Newport police Sargent who's out to get him, and of course his inner demons, including Timmy-- his penis.
"Hardly Hard" stands as the most unique kind of buddy comedy, where the hero and buddy are the same person.