Her mental health. My reflection

"And on the days you don't know what to choose ... choose your mental health..."
Days are passing and i become aware that my mental health is worse and worse.
I pretend all is ok.
But ... i guess all is obvious.
I try to disconnect from the world i am living in.
I try to hide the truth.
Most certainly ... i've lost control on myself by a long, long time ... but i try to delay that all to become obvious for everyone.
Unfortunately .... It is late.
I've ignored too much ... all those details whispering that i am into a non-ending journey on a pathless path.
Or maybe i should say pathless paths.
I might illusory believe that i can improve things ... but ...
Well ... between all those things ... i had to decide to remain calm and have a good mental health.
There was nothing to choose for real.
But ... i was blind.
Stupid.
Continuing acting as an idiot.
I was not seeing the full picture.
I couldn't do it.
Or maybe ... not really ready.
So .... I've just continued to waste my existence.
Fortunately ... i was writing down everything ... everyday.
As a self therapy.
Hoping things will improve.
Believing i must always choose between being on a pathless path and another.
But …