I did not know what to do with myself three years ago when we separated. I went through manic depression for over 6 months.
Without him in my life, I felt a void within that nothing could fill no matter what I tried. I wanted the earth to swallow me whole. When he left, I was surprised that half of me was missing — I did not know about Twin Flames then. I had no idea that I was awakening to the Twin Flame connection.
The biggest side of my heart was the space that he left. I cried myself to sleep every night. I wailed on top of my voice while I was in the shower. I was always lovesick. I found it hard to leave my bed. I could not control the intensity of the shared energy.
Even though I felt sad and lonely without my Twin Flame, I had to function in the normal world. I had over 12 employees to manage at the same time; I was a CEO of a big company then.
I lost about 10 pounds of weight in 6 months. My friends could not understand my situation — I could not fully disclose the details because none of them had encountered a Twin Flame before. I also did not understand fully what was happening to him. I did not have the right words to express my feelings.
On top of all this mess, I was going through a divorce. When I met my Twin Flame, my life changed for the better; it first got worse though. Three things that perplexed me — the heart palpitations, ringing ears, and puking.
When the energetic share is too intense with my Twin Flame, the pressure is only released when I throw up. Heart palpitations happen when he is thinking of me. Ringing in the ears happens when there is an energetic shift in our shared frequency.
It is okay and normal to feel sad, lonely, lethargic, and physically ill. I have been through it all. There are moments when you will feel extremely happy and joyful.
Suddenly, you feel sad and helpless like nothing can save you from your pain. I call this the emotional rollercoaster.
I tried many things to help me stop feeling this way including trying to sever the bond — nothing worked. I tried drinking myself to sleep but it only made me feel worse about myself.
Even though you are advised to heal your pain, it is a process to find the light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes you feel like you have made tremendous progress and other days feel like you are relapsing.
When I did emotional work, I felt stuck most of the days. I was in limbo most of the time and nothing would ease the pain of missing him. I would close myself in my bedroom when I was lovesick. I cried myself to sleep. I could not stop the heart pulling from him.
When I tried to surrender, I knew that I was forcing it because I was not ready to free myself from fear and pain. I would write to him very long letters to explain to him about my feelings and the experiences that I went through. I still was in denial of the Twin Flame phenomenon — I thought that the experiences were very complicated for me to go through. I was very intimidated by the nature of the Twin Flame process.
Even though he rarely responded, I felt understood by him. I also knew that my Twin Flame is the only person who would understand me.
Most of my friends thought that I was going crazy or maybe obsessed with him. Others thought that it was a temporary love crush that would eventually fade over time. I can now testify to the fact that they were all wrong.
Enjoy this simple book.