I Don't Have to Make Everything All Better

PUBLISHERS WEEKLY MAR 29, 1999

Based on Gary Lundberg's work in family and relationship counseling, this revised version of a self-published work wisely maintains the deliberately simple narrative voice of the original. The authors call for "validation," a powerful technique for improving one-on-one communication that involves careful, empathetic listening to another person's feelings without judging, criticizing or attempting to solve his or her problems. The authors demonstrate this technique's startling effectiveness in a variety of situations and provide readers with valuable coaching and specific responses, cautioning that authentic validation is grounded in respect and honesty, or else it might be seen as manipulation. The Lundbergs include many recognizable examples from their workshop practice and from their experience as parents of five. Some sample situations may be resolved a bit too easily for some tastes, but even the most jaded reader is bound to learn from the material, which holds special appeal for parents of young children. Anyone who has been confronted with a spouse or a child who had a bad day, a cranky customer, colleague or demanding relative stands to benefit from the Lundbergs' advice. Author tour.