I Get It! I Finally Get It!‪!‬

Two sayings, I do not know the origin of, but they are apropos:

"Never fall in love with a narcissist. You will live a very lonely life."
"If I knew then what I know now."

Who knows? Who really cares?

The twenty-first century has been one wake-up call for me. In general, my life could best be described as a roller coaster ride. Like all great thrill seeking rides, there are always highs and lows, extreme exhilaration and abject terror. I have played major and minor parts in this play called "Highway to Heaven." I have had the role of daughter, niece, sister, best friend, lover, mother, grandmother, teacher, sales coordinator. The most challenging, I left until last. I was a wife married to an alcoholic for forty years. I am a divorcee for six years, and I am still a cancer warrior after fourteen years, breast cancer metastasized in the bones.

There is always a straw. "The straw that broke the camel's back." It takes guts to see the writing on the wall. But how could I have been blindsided? I have been courted by Death three times in five years. This was my "last kick at the can." I took a year to backtrack the people and events and circumstances that got me in the mess I chose to wallow in. It's rewarding to have this last chance "to clean house." I have finally found the true meaning of freedom. If this real story can be of any help to anyone, then I will have put the gift of more time to good use. I can honestly say I'm ready!

In the end, at the end, the only most important thing is that one likes oneself.