I Used to Be ___
How to Navigate Large and Small Losses in Life and Find Your Path Forward
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- $10.99
Publisher Description
Navigate Through Grief with Biblical Mental Health Tools
When you suffer a loss, you enter the realm of "used to be." You used to be married. You used to be employed. You used to be pregnant, secure, healthy, sober, thin. You used to be a son or daughter, a brother or sister, a mother or father. And in that used-to-be space there is deep emptiness, loneliness, and sorrow. It's a place we all dwell for a while. But it's not a place in which we are meant to remain.
The path forward includes exploring the unseen elements of grief. With this book, pastor Chuck Elliott and counselor Ashley Elliott light the way to a better future. Sharing biblical advice and proven mental health techniques, they help you learn how to fully feel and face your grief, hold onto your faith, and develop healthy ways to see yourself, your life, and your loved ones. They offer coping strategies for when moving forward seems impossible and guide you toward building new thinking patterns that will result in true healing and growth.
Maybe you "used to be" something--but there is a future waiting when you "will be" once more.
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
Pastor Chuck Elliott and wife Ashley Elliott, a mental health counselor, coach readers through psychological soul-searching sparked by loss in this sensible debut guide. Drawing on their own moments of grief, the authors explain that "our view of ourselves often changes because of our loss," as "unmet needs are exposed," triggering shame or vulnerability. To heal, it's important to define the loss (when Ashley miscarried, the couple grieved the absent "life and... our hopes and dreams") and address the often unpleasant labels that come with it (Ashley balked at "sterile medical terms" including "spontaneous abortion"). Readers are encouraged to rework language they find triggering (the couple opted for saying "our baby died," which they found more empowering) and neutralize unwanted labels, such as "unemployed" or "divorced," by "increasing... awareness of strong emotions" they inspire. TheElliots also distinguish positive coping mechanisms (crying, seeking community) from negative ones (self-medicating, "shutting God out") and recommend drawing strength from Scripture. Aided by reflection questions and bite-size prayers, this resource charts a manageable route through grief recovery, with especially useful tools for communication during moments of emotional fragility. Those seeking faith-based healing will find it a balm.
