I'd Like to Play Alone, Please
From a massively successful stand-up comedian and co-host of chart-topping podcasts “2 Bears 1 Cave” and “Your Mom’s House,” hilarious real-life stories of parenting, celebrity encounters, youthful mistakes, misanthropy, and so much more.
Tom Segura is known for his twisted takes and irreverent comedic voice. But after a few years of crazy tours and churning out podcasts weekly, all while parenting two young children, he desperately needs a second to himself. It’s not that he hates his friends and family — he’s not a monster — he’s just beat, which is why his son’s (ruthless) first full sentence, “I’d like to play alone, please,” has since become his mantra.
In this collection of stories, Tom combines his signature curmudgeonly humor with a revealing look at some of the ridiculous situations that shaped him and the ludicrous characters who always seem to seek him out. The stories feature hilarious anecdotes about Tom's time on the road, including some surreal encounters with celebrities at airports; his unfiltered South American family; the trials and tribulations of parenting young children with bizarrely morbid interests; and, perhaps most memorably, experiences with his dad who, like any good Baby Boomer father, loves to talk about his bowel movements and share graphic Vietnam stories at inappropriate moments. All of this is enough to make anyone want some peace and quiet.
I’D LIKE TO PLAY ALONE, PLEASE will have readers laughing out loud and nodding in agreement with Segura's message: in a world where everyone is increasingly insane, sometimes you just need to be alone.
APPLE BOOKS REVIEW
With this hilarious and raunchy collection of personal essays, stand-up comedian and podcast host Tom Segura reminds us why we love him. Segura writes with the exact same intensity and lack of internal censor that he delivers on his many stand-up specials, chronicling his most triumphant, shocking, and embarrassing moments. He shares hilarious airplane encounters with Serena Williams, Chris Tucker, and Jill Scott, but he also gets into some gets deadly serious revelations, like the story of how he overdosed on a cocktail of pills and alcohol. Segura’s essays are at their most affectionate and touching when he talks about his late father, whom longtime fans know as Big Dog. His recreations of his dad’s monologues, especially about his Vietnam War experiences, are shocking and funny—and filled with the affection both men clearly shared. I’d Like to Play Alone, Please is a read that will stick with you.
"Inside every smart-ass is the person they're publicly scared to be," muses comedian Segura in this irreverent collection of personal stories, his debut. Though he's performed on stage with big names like Chris Rock, Jon Stewart, and Dave Chappelle, Segura reveals to readers that behind the jokes, he's a bit of a "softie" who still gets starstruck from time to time as when, on a flight to L.A., he blurted out "you're the greatest" to tennis star Serena Williams (before remembering a bit he'd done about her "sitting on my face" in a Netflix special). He also cherishes his solitude: the book's title, inspired by the same request from his toddler, Segura admits is "a credo I deeply believe in." As he pokes fun at himself with hilarious anecdotes such as responding to social media trolls as his fake assistant, Segura delivers plenty of twisted "just-kidding" jokes to make sure the readers are paying attention, including one about spending a spring in Paris with the late infamous sex offender Jeffrey Epstein. While his brand of profane humor certainly isn't for everyone (following the Epstein gag, he archly posits that maybe the Taliban aren't "so bad," but instead "guys you want to have a beer with"), Segura's candor is undeniably entertaining. Fans will find this a riot.
This book is pretty funny but he has covered most of it in his stand-up specials which are HILARIOUS. Highly recommend them.
Outstanding and entertaining
Absolute master at story telling. Some of the hardest times I’ve ever laughed while reading a book.
Touch My Book Through The Fence
I loved reading this book and learning so much about Tim’s life. The coolest guy ever. This was the highest and the tightest book 😊