If Love Were Oil, I'd Be About a Quart Low

A veteran of the Divorce Wars speaks out ... on growing up (Happiness is a Red-Headed Cheerleader), first love (She Wore Spaghetti, But I Loved Her Anyway), marriage (Panty Hose on the Show Rod and Raisins in the Rice), and divorce (Loneliness and No Clean Underwear). Grizzard even offers advice to the young (Never Kiss a Lady When Her Mouth is Full of Snuff) and how his mother gave him fresh "hand-squoze" orange juice and spoiled him for the three women he would someday marry -- and divorce. With the down-home humor that has made him one of America's most popular newspaper columnists, and poignant insights into his own life and loves in these modern times, here is Lewis Grizzard at his bittersweet best.