I'm Perfect, You're Doomed
Tales from a Jehovah's Witness Upbringing
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3.1 • 51 Ratings
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- $15.99
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- $15.99
Publisher Description
I'm Perfect, You're Doomed is the story of Kyria Abrahams's coming-of-age as a Jehovah's Witness -- a doorbell-ringing "Pioneer of the Lord." Her childhood was haunted by the knowledge that her neighbors and schoolmates were doomed to die in an imminent fiery apocalypse; that Smurfs were evil; that just about anything you could buy at a yard sale was infested by demons; and that Ouija boards -- even if they were manufactured by Parker Brothers -- were portals to hell. Never mind how popular you are when you hand out the Watchtower instead of candy at Halloween.
When Abrahams turned eighteen, things got even stranger. That's when she found herself married to a man she didn't love, with adultery her only way out. "Disfellowshipped" and exiled from the only world she'd ever known, Abrahams realized that the only people who could save her were the very sinners she had prayed would be smitten by God's wrath.
Raucously funny, deeply unsettling, and written with scorching wit and deep compassion, I'm Perfect, You're Doomed explores the ironic absurdity of growing up believing that nothing matters because everything's about to be destroyed.
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
When Abrahams was growing up, her world was neatly divided between those who would live forever in a paradise on earth and all the "worldly" people her Jehovah's Witness family prayed for. Her congregation forbade Christmas and Halloween, aggressively shunned anyone who left the fold and taught children that birthday parties were of the devil. For kicks in her early teens, Abrahams would go witnessing door-to-door with her pal Lisa, a die-hard J-Dub. This acerbic, witty memoir chronicles the first 23 years of Abraham's life with candor and a good dose of comedy. Unlike other memoirs written by the disenchanted, Abrahams musters some affection for her decent but screwed-up family, and even for the religion itself. Where the story hits a rough patch is in her account of her late teens and early 20s, when she dropped out of high school; rushed into a disastrous teen marriage; fell into alcohol, drugs and adultery; and finally "fired Jehovah as personal bodyguard" and became an apostate divorc e. None of this is particularly funny, and Abrahams's tale of self-destruction ends abruptly enough that readers will wonder how she managed to pull herself together.
Customer Reviews
Wow
I was raised a Jehovah's Witness and the author hit it right on the nose. It was comical and delightfully written. Do not take the opinion of someone who never even read the book. And yes, the Jehovah' Witnesses do believe that every one else is doomed. This is how they keep all of their members trapped in their organization. And if you leave they do shun you in an attempt to emotionally blackmail you. They use mind control and twist the bible's meaning. When it was embarrassingly obvious they decided to write their own bible. Still they have to twist the one they wrote.
I just wanted to say wonderful job, Kyria!
False! False! False!
Wow is all I can say! Ridiculous! I am proudly one of Jehovah's Witnesses. I can honestly say I have never doomed anyone since I have been in the truth! I was raised in churches that literally doomed people to hell! They were excuse me correction are hateful bigots who wanted to know nothing about what the bible says they were comfortable with their lies and they don't care about people one bit or they would share the bible with others. The only reason for disfellowshipping is an UNREPENTANT heart someone who does not care what they done they see no fault in it! Disfellowshipping is in the bible at 2 corinthians 5 9-13 it's not a hateful matter it's a loving one because it would bring Jehovah God's name shame for an adulator to go preaching from house to house about God when they aren't even right with God that is pure hypocrisy! And we dont want to be like the false religions who deceive people into thinking that is okay. I pray for all the disfellowshipped brothers and sisters
to come back to Jehovah He loves you and is waiting with open arms! And so are your fellow brothers and sisters! Remember no one said it would be easy but they did promise it would be worth it!
Great book
You can definitely tell who still are jws in the reviews and you can tell who think jws are nice people but never been one for a long rime.