In the Water They Can't See You Cry
A Memoir
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4.4 • 150 Ratings
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- $13.99
Publisher Description
In this candid and ultimately uplifting memoir, Olympic medalist Amanda Beard reveals the truth about coming of age in the spotlight, the demons she battled along the way, and the newfound happiness that has proved to be her greatest victory.
At the tender age of fourteen, Amanda Beard walked onto the pool deck at the Atlanta Olympics carrying her teddy bear, Harold, and left with two silvers and a gold medal. She competed in three more Olympic games, winning a total of seven medals, and enjoyed a lucrative modeling career on the side. At one point, she was the most downloaded female athlete on the Internet.
Yet despite her astonishing career and sex-symbol status, Amanda felt unworthy of all her success. Unaware that she was suffering from clinical depression, she hid the pain beneath a megawatt smile. With no other outlet for her feelings besides the pool, Amanda expressed her emotions through self-destructive behavior. In her late teens and twenties, she became bulimic, abused drugs and alcohol, and started cutting herself.
Her low self-esteem led to toxic relationships with high-profile men in the sports world. No one, not even her own parents and friends, knew about the turmoil she was going through. Only when she met her future husband, who discovered her cutting herself, did Amanda realize she needed help.
Through her renewed faith in herself; the love of her family; and finally the birth of her baby boy, Blaise, Amanda has transformed her life. In these pages, she speaks frankly about her struggles with depression, the pressures to be thin, and the unhealthy relationships she confused for love. In the Water They Can’t See You Cry is a raw, compelling story of a woman who gained the strength to live as bravely out of the water as she did in it.
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
In this bold and candid memoir, Beard details her sudden rise to Olympic fame, its huge toll, and how she reclaimed her life. Beard swam in the 1996 Olympic games in Atlanta; she was 14-years-old. She won a gold and two silvers, and would go on to swim in the subsequent three Summer Olympics in Sydney, Athens, and Beijing, medaling in each save the last. She was a smart, talented, athletic overachiever, but behind the scenes, her life spiraled out of control. A self-described late bloomer, Beard was wracked with insecurity as puberty ushered on the pounds, and the limelight broadcast the changes. She recalls finding newspaper clippings her father had hidden in which "sportswriters called me fat, washed-up, and finished," though she was only 15 at the time. Nevertheless, she continued swimming, going on to join the University of Arizona swim team, where she met fellow Olympic swimmer Ryk Neethling. The two were soon became a couple, but the constant fighting and stress of competition led Beard to anorexia and cutting herself. In 2001, she went pro and signed a four-year contract with Speedo, and things started to look up. But when Beard accidentally cut herself too deeply one day, she finally relented and sought help. Now a healthy wife and mother, Beard still swims professionally. Her remarkable story, courageous resilience, and honest self-assessment make this an inspiring read.
Customer Reviews
Inspiring
Good book and a quick read. It's amazing what a smile can hide. I hope Amanda's book helps people recognize problems and get help early on. Amanda was lucky. I work on a rescue and see the other side of not getting help.
Amazing
This book was awesome. I loved it. Amanda did a great job in telling her story about a struggling Olympian. There were so many things I didn't know about the Olympics in general before this book. The pressure they are under is incredible. Congrats to her on getting her life back on track.
Inspiring
If you are a competitive swimmer or/and a hopeful Olympian then this book is a must read.