Instead

A compelling memoir about opting for adventure instead of motherhood, and the lifelong outcomes of that choice.


Instead captures Maria Coffey’s adventurous life through her biggest decisions along the way, including the decision not to have children. It’s a vivid travelogue, a love story, and a personal commentary on the risks and rewards of choosing unconventional paths.

After two traumatic experiences during her twenties – a near-drowning in Morocco and her boyfriend’s death on Mount Everest – Maria determines to seize every day and explore the world. Mixed with her desire for freedom is a new fear of loss, which convinces her against parenthood. She falls in love with Dag, who shares her dreams, and they begin creating a life of adventure. There is one snag: he wants children and thinks they could include them in their wild exploits.

Instead follows Maria’s trajectory as she shares her guilt-ridden relationship with her Irish Catholic mother; her baby debates with Dag in unlikely situations, like kayaking through a storm; the doubts that rear up in remote cultures where her childfree choice is unfathomable; and how children eventually – and surprisingly – come into her life.

An adventure story with a unique twist, Instead tackles the universal themes of choice and consequence, agency versus fate. It is a must read for anyone curious about stepping off the beaten track, and a testament to the power of being open to the unexpected.