Forgiveness is not turning the other cheek, it is not running away and it does not mean that you condone what someone has done, nor does it invite him or her to do it again. Forgiveness doesn't mean that you don't want an offender to be punished, it doesn't mean that you'll forget the offense, or that by forgiving you tacitly invite bad things to happen again. And forgiving doesn't mean you won't defend yourself or that you must love (or stop disliking) the person you are forgiving.”
In other words, forgiveness is not a sign of weakness but of strength. It's also healthy, brave, contagious, and sets you free. In this book, Dr. Hallowell not only explains why forgiveness is one of the best things you can do to heal your body and mind; he also offers a practical, four part plan for achieving it.
True stories illustrate the power of forgiveness in real lives, from a wife who forgives the hurtful words of her husband to a mother who forgives the man who kidnapped and murdered her daughter.
• Dr. Hallowell is a bestselling author with a strong track record. In this book, he returns to his core audience and subject matter.
• An exceptional platform for self-promotion, Dr. Hallowell speaks to 10,000 people each year at more than 70 conferences.
• His new view of forgiveness as a strength, and his unique 4-step plan for conquering feelings of anger and resentment, will appeal to a country trying to sort out feelings of vengeance and heartbreak.
Before explaining how to forgive, psychologist Hallowell (Connect: 12 Vital Ties that Open Your Heart, Lengthen Your Life and Deepen Your Soul) argues that the act of forgiving benefits the person who has been wronged even more than the offender, somewhat in contrast with Janis Abrahms Spring's recent How Can I Forgive You?: The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To. In addition to physical advantages, like lower blood pressure or a stronger immune system, letting go of anger and the desire for revenge results in emotional growth and a higher degree of happiness. In this very compassionate self-help book, laced with examples from the author's personal and professional life, Hallowell presents a detailed, four-step process for achieving true forgiveness: feel the pain of being wronged; relive and reflect on this pain; work through the anger and resentment; and, finally, renounce the anger and move forward. To facilitate these stages, the author recommends first forgiving yourself for wrongful acts you have committed against others. In insightful chapters that do not minimize the difficulties inherent in the process, Hallowell discusses the nuts and bolts of many kinds of forgiveness, including "everyday forgiveness" (e.g., someone who cuts in front of you on line), "forgiving your ex" and "forgiving a betrayer." His arguments about the value of forgiveness in individual situations are fairly convincing and are made more compelling by the well-rendered anecdotes that accompany them. Hallowell also theorizes, optimistically, that an embrace of forgiveness on a global level is the road to international progress and world peace.