Lessons for Living
What Only Adversity Can Teach You
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- $11.99
Publisher Description
Profound essays that cut through the messiness of life to help you get the good from the bad—by famed therapist Phil Stutz, the New York Times bestselling co-author of The Tools and subject of the Netflix documentary Stutz
“Is there another way? Can you live life with its conflicts, uncertainties, and disappointments and somehow feel good about yourself? You can. But it requires a completely new orientation.”
There are issues, and there are issues—love, loss, success, failure, hope, regret, life, death. How can we even begin to think clearly about dilemmas so universally confounding? Phil Stutz has spent his life pondering the big challenges that we all face, and this profound book puts the conclusions he’s reached at your fingertips.
Stutz has been writing these remarkably insightful short essays since the late 1990s, which are collected here for the first time, along with new insights specific to the unique challenges of today. Each one will change the way you think, but taken all together, this book becomes something far more than the sum of its parts: a compendium of human experience and knowledge that will reframe your worldview. There are hard truths here—the acknowledgment that life is full of pain and not a single one of us is special enough to escape it—but we need to understand and accept them in order to realize our full potential.
While The Tools explains the general concepts and five specific practices that Stutz employs in treatment, Lessons for Living addresses real-world circumstances, such as the needs of children, rising above envy, defeating your bad habits, the positive side of anger, and facing insecurities, offering a new way to think about life itself.
PUBLISHERS WEEKLY
In these insightful if uneven essays reworked from the 1990s and early 2000s, psychiatrist Stutz (coauthor of Coming Alive) addresses a host of common emotional problems within an action-oriented psychotherapeutic framework. After becoming "demoralized" early in his career by the "inability of psychiatry to really help patients," Stutz developed "The Tools," a system designed to unlock "the infinite wisdom of the present" through a focus on routine skills practice ("If you want to change a process, you need to work on it daily"), forward motion ("the highest value is taking the next step into your future"), and a belief in higher forces, whether religious or nondenominational ("God or flow or the unconscious"). The selections tackle such problems as anger, insecurity, and relationship struggles, devoting particular attention to "Part X," an "inner adversary" that can be defeated through such interventions as praying or tapping into the "powerful energy... you get when you deprive yourself of an addiction." Despite some repetition between essays and a tendency toward generalities ("make every day you live, every action you take, personally meaningful"), readers will appreciate the author's wise and well-informed observations, which are often distilled into salient takeaways, such as this one from the entry on familial guilt and obligation: "only what you give to others in free will has lasting value." Patient readers will find plenty of wisdom here. Correction: An earlier version of this review mistakenly stated that the author co-developed "The Tools."