Loser

Have you ever awakened in the morning to discover that you forgot to set the alarm and saw to your dismay that you were going to be late for work? You fly out of bed almost as fast as the speed of sound, race into the bathroom to brush your teeth, shave and maybe even take a quick shower. You throw on your clothes from yesterday (hoping no one from work will notice), grab your briefcase and race out of the house. You pick up the morning paper and jump into the car only to notice the date on the newspaper and realize…it’s Saturday morning! Duh! This is similar to what my life is like: no matter what you do or what your intentions were, you’re either going to do something wrong or if you do it right, it’s the wrong time. Sometimes, you just have to hope for dumb luck like rolling the dice and hitting that winning number. This is a story about some of the dumb things that have happened to me and how I have managed to keep a stiff upper lip (if for no other reason than the lower lip got hit by a wayward baseball) and find some success in life.