Recognizing how the need to grieve is anchored in one's capacity to care for someone, this calming guide contends that the act of mourning is healthy—and necessary—following a life-changing loss. The very foundation of attachment is reflected upon, illustrating devotion as both the primary cause of grief and a crucial source of emotional recovery. Exploring the essential principles of love as well as the reasons behind it, this heartfelt handbook makes it possible to embrace a trying but vital process.
Loving from the Outside In, Mourning from the Inside Out
I recently lost my partner/spouse, my soulmate and the love of my life for 38 years on June 1st, 2012 to pancreatic cancer. During the eight months that followed the diagnosis we both struggled with the inevitable. My anticipatory grief was all consuming yet I felt I had to suppress my feelings (as much as humanly possible) and stay strong for us both.
After his death, the real grief set in and has shaken me to my very core. I have questioned everything I ever believed in. Had God forsaken me? Why was I now alone, lost and frightened that my life was over? Was there any point in going on? After all, I had no one to come home to, no one to tell the day's events to, and no one to hold me when the world was closing in.
My friends kept telling me "give it time", "things will get better", "quit beating up on yourself for not being further along in the process". All of these statements were well intentioned but really meant nothing to me as all I could feel was pain and loss. I was consumed with grief and felt no amount of time could ever possibly make this feeling of doom and gloom ever go away.
Then, I found this book and read it from cover to cover several times. I could not believe that my thoughts and feelings, my emotions and my broken heart seemed to be written on every page. It was as if the author had written this book based on my recent loss.
How uplifted I felt as I read each page and discovered what I was feeling and experiencing was totally normal and all part of the grief process. This book has given me so much information to help me deal with my loss and ultimately to be happy once again.
I am eternally grateful to Dr. Wolfelt for writing this book and for providing me with the tools to better understand what I am feeling and why. The information provided in this book is essential in understanding and working through the grief process. This book gives me hope that I will ultimately come out on the other end of this process as a stronger, healthier and happier individual. One who will be better prepared to handle whatever life still has in store for me.
Thank you for sharing your knowledge and expertise. Reading your book has given me renewed hope for a brighter tomorrow.