Mr. Dooley Says

Well sir, said Mr. Dooley, I jus' got hold iv a book, Hinnissy, that suits me up to th' handle, a gran' book, th' grandest iver seen. Ye know I'm not much throubled be lithrachoor, havin' manny worries iv me own, but I'm not prejudiced again' books. I am not. Whin a rale good book comes along I'm as quick as anny wan to say it isn't so bad, an' this here book is fine. I tell ye 'tis fine".

"What is it?" Mr. Hennessy asked languidly. 'Tis 'Th' Biography iv a Hero be Wan who Knows. ' 'Tis 'Th' Darin' Exploits iv a Brave Man be an Actual Eye Witness. ' 'Tis 'Th' Account iv th' Desthruction iv Spanish Power in th' Ant Hills, ' as it fell fr'm th' lips iv Tiddy Rosenfelt an' was took down be his own hands. Ye see 'twas this way, Hinnissy, as I r-read th' book. Whin Tiddy was blowed up in th' harbor iv Havana he instantly con-cluded they must be war. He debated th' question long an' earnestly an' fin'lly passed a jint resolution declarin' war. So far so good. But there was no wan to carry it on.