Must be Nice (Short Story‪)‬

My first and favorite task of the night is to clean the midget suit of armor outside the Principal's office. I dust the slats in the tiny visor and check for gum stuck in weird places. I try to straighten everything up--especially the fingers on the little gloves, which kids are forever trying to shape into gang signs--but after I'm done, the suit stoops over again, like it's old and tired. You and me both, pal, is what I say to that. Hector the supervisor says it's midget-sized because the administration was too cheap to spring for a regular-size suit of armor. Still, I think it looks nice. Noble, even, in those few seconds when it's clean and upright. Twice a year I buy chrome polish with my own money and shine it all up, but does anyone appreciate it? Ha. One time, back when I worked days, I had just finished polishing the knight and was walking away when I heard a rattling noise. I turned around to see a boy pretending to hump the poor knight right in the ass-can. That's when I requested the change to nights. I don't need to see that crap.